Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Beckhams Buying Clooney's Villa? Uh, Not According to Clooney

Oh dear lord, has the inevitable Vicki and David Beckham real estate crazy started in Italy? It seems to have and this time their whirlwind of alleged property purchasing has sucked an American film star and, natch, a Russian billionaire into its self-propelling vortex of real estat absurdity.

Today the Daily Mail reported that those crazy Beckhams are hot hot hot to buy one of George Clooney's two villas in Laglio, on the shores of Lake Como. The property in question is Villa Oleander, an architecturally symmetrical 18th century pile with 15 bedrooms that Mister Clooney bought back in 2002. The Oscar winning actor has used the dignified villa as a frequent vacation getaway despite his rumored frustration with all the dumb ass pee-pole who perpetually cruise by in their boats and snap photos of his dee-lishusness, his famous friends and his constantly rotating coterie of ladee pals. The villa is said to have a private swimming pool, tennis court, gym, and jetty that juts out into the lake that laps up against the wall that protects the well tended gardens.

According to the Daily Mail–whose real estate reports are always juicy but, as you'll soon see, sometimes not quite correct–Villa Oleander is reported to be quietly on the market with an asking price of £20,000,000. A quick consult with our currency conversion contraption shows that amounts to 30,856,600 U.S. clams at today's rates. The tawdry tab goes on to say that the Beckhams, those oh so fickle Beckhams, are in negotiations to purchase the villa, an act meant to scratch the couple's Italian real estate itch that allegedly came about when Mister Beckham moved to the boot shaped country in order to kick and pass balls for the AC Milan people.

The tattooed soccer stud–or soccer dud depending on who you ask–has reportedly been staying in a Milan hotel while on loan to AC Milan and, it would seem, Vicki's decided it's high time that they gear up to settle down in a real damn house where they can raise up their three piglets in proper superstar style.

The Daily Mail goes on to say that the Beckhams, bless their little real estate hearts, have competition for the purchase of Mister Clooney's villa in the form of a moon-faced Russian billionaire who built his fortune selling vodka and chocolate. 'Tis true. Well, the part about Tariko Roustam's source of wealth is true. Whether he's offered comely Mister Clooney the £30,000,000–that's $46,284,900 in the U-nited States–the Daily Mail says he did is another matter that Your Mama can't accurately speak to the accuracy of. What we will say is that if Clooney's casa is indeed for sale for twenty million British pounds then what would possess this Roustam chap to offer £10,000,000 more than that? Are y'all starting to smell a real estate fish?

Let's parse this bizness a bit, children. It makes Your Mama go 29 kinds of cross-eyed with skepticism–and it should do the same to y'all–when we consider the bizarre notion that these Beckhams–as mercurial as they may be–would go and spend thirty and some million smackers for a house in Italy when Mister Beckham is only scheduled to shake his money maker in Italy for the next few month. After that, we understand, he's a free agent who may or may not have a job in Italy come the opening of the next soccer season.

Plus, let's all recall that we've been through all this mad merry-go-round of rumor and reporting that a big name celebrity might buying Mister Clooney's villa on Lake Como before. Remember when everyone thought that Tom Crooze was going to buy Villa Margherita, Mister Clooney's other villa in Laglio? Bollux! Didn't happen. Then there were the ridiculous rumors that the high priestess of Scientology was going to marry his ladee-mate and baby maker Katie Holmes on the grounds of Clooney's villa? Crap. All crap. There are additional and recent reports that Mister Clooney, who is reported to be tired of dealing with all the looky-loos at Lake Como is considering purchasing a private island in Italy. More trash talk.

Despite the Daily Mail printing a quote from an I-talian fellow named "Mr. Proto" who said, " We are not in charge of the actual sale [of Mister Clooney's villa] but of finding suitable clients, the sale will be handled by an American real estate company," Mister Clooney's mouthpiece has finally weighed in on the matter producing a statement from his hotness himself that said, "I'm not buying an island an am not selling my house in Italy...the story was made up...then picked up...and now denied...end of another riveting day of false news."

So there you have it, children, all the cards on the table so to speak. According to Mister Clooney, his house is not for sale and according to "Mr. Proto"–whoever he is–the sale will be handled by an American company. We're going to let y'all decide who you believe but Your Mama sure knows who we this is speaking the truth...or at least the truthiness on the matter.

photo: Pacific Coast News

17 comments:

StPaulSnowman said...

What a perfect treat for a night when we can't watch Mao Asada and Yuna Kim duke it out in Vancouver and out local mercury will be dipping to zero......thanks Mama

gih said...

The best place I think for touring.

Madam Pince said...

This was posted earlier today on one of my favorite gossip blogs, Dlisted (which is listed on Mama's Blogroll), and I opined I wouldn't believe this until I read it on Real Estalker. I knew Mama would get to the truth!

Anonymous said...

This was probably cooked up by the Beckham's. They will say and do anything to stay in the press. And even if Mrs Beckham really wanted to move to Italy, It wouldn't be because she wants to settle down - it would be so she can keep an eye - both eyes on her husband. He cheats on her every chance he gets

Anonymous said...

'He cheats on her every chance he gets'

Such rubbish. I think that's all in your little head.

The Beckhams have constantly stated that they're remaining in Los Angeles & have no plans on moving. Last year Clooney looked at property in Lugano, Switzerland & also Lake Maggiore. His Como property is also apparently for sale through a Swiss agency. True or not, who knows.

Cantella Queen Nothing said...

http://www.dlisted.com/node/36224

Very funny stuff, Joan Rivers goes off on Mrs. B

Anonymous said...

This villa is quite close to the road and is pointed out on tourist coach trips. I think for this money I would want something a bit further from other buildings and roads

The Shitty Astrologer said...

"Mr. Proto"...watch that name turn up in the next James Bond film!

Gianni Versace said...

There are rumours that, actually, Mr. Clonney drives his scooter throughout the streets of Laglio searching for (very) young male companions.
Father figure or pedofile ?
Just asking...

Anonymous said...

If Miss Clooney didn't like all the looky-loos he shouldn't have bought a house with no privacy.

Anonymous said...

All those women and never a hint of any scandal because there's nothing to tell. Tiger should be so lucky. Father figure, Mr. Versace... rich father figure.

Anonymous said...

First, dear Mama, your exchange rate info is out of date. The Euro is at about 1.35 dollars now, not 1.50 dollars. Second, I am glad someone raised the gay question. I have always wondered about a man of Clooney's age who has never been married, but is always "seen" with a variety of women. Nothing wrong with being gay of course, ifin he is.

StPaulSnowman said...

And now for something completely different..........does anyone know what is going on with Fleur de Lis and the Manor? As our economy forces evolution of even wealthy lifestyles, it will be interesting to see if these megalodomiciles even end up as single family dwellings. I am seeing the Candy Spelling Women's Correctional Facility and Doll Museum.

Anonymous said...

8:43, Clooney was married before.

Anonymous said...

i've stayed at the house (villa)..yes, I'm sure it would sell for over 50 million US..what people don't figure in is that he's bought several of the neighboring properties..I believe he owns 4 houses total..two villas on one side (the other side is a public access to the lake..which is where many paparazzis position themselves) he's also bought and improved the house on the other side of the road..it includes many bedrooms..a screenroom and large gym and garage that houses many cars and motorcycles..he built a bridge over the public street to access this other house. I know he loves it there but I wouldn't be surprised if he did sell in the next couple of years. He knows how the people and paparazzi have encroached on the locals enjoyment of the small town and lake. I would think when his large house is complete in cabo (that he's been working on for a few years) he may sell Como...I'm sure a Russian oligarch would offer him well over 50 million for the place..I mean saying you bought 'Clooney's Villa' goes a long way.

Anonymous said...

That is one good-looking house.

Dan said...

The Real Estate Shenanigans here on the Real Estalker are fantastic. I wish sometimes that your photos were bigger but I love getting my fancy real estate fix from you. Something tells me that Mr Clooney would have to be in serious financial trouble to sell either of these puppies!

Keep up the great work!